Extra Dirty Read online

  Jesse got to his feet. He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt, but the relief he experienced was so intense he thought his chest might cave in. He covered his sternum with his free hand and uttered a strangled laugh. “Of course he does. The big lug’s never gotten over the fact I’m taller than him by an inch—no way would he stay down any longer than he had to.”

  Sara laughed, too, but Jesse could hear tears in her voice.

  “Sara—”

  “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m just…shit, I’m so pumped up I don’t know what to do with myself right now.”

  “Well, sit down, for God’s sake—you need to keep your blood pressure in check!” Jesse immediately started for the bedroom but made sure he aimed a smile Cam’s way. “I’ll get dressed and be there as soon as I can. Should I bring anything?”

  “No, we’re good. Eric’ll need to crash for a while after we get him back to his room. This is all so exhausting for him, but his neurologist says it’s normal—his body’s recovering and needs sleep.”

  Jesse paused outside his closet and blinked against the sting of tears. His roller-coaster emotions over the last several weeks had left him raw, and the last two days had pushed his limits almost to breaking point. He’d never forget the terror he’d glimpsed in his brother’s eyes the night before.

  “Maybe you could stay until dinner?” Sara asked. “I think Eric would like that. He’s missed you, and he worried about you the whole time you were gone. He’s so glad you’re back and patching things up with Cam. Wait—the two of you are patching things up, right?”

  “Yes, we absolutely are.” Quickly, Jesse shook himself and stepped into the closet to pull jeans, a T-shirt and underwear from various drawers. “Tell you what—there’re a couple of delis near the hospital, so how about I pick up food for everyone on my way, and we can have a picnic dinner kind of thing?”

  “Oh, I love that idea.”

  “Should I bring food for Eric, too, or—?”

  “I think that’d be okay. They’ve put some restrictions on his diet to help us start narrowing down his migraine triggers, but I’ll send you a couple of suggestions. Um. An avocado smoothie would be great.”

  Jesse racked his brain for a place to buy smoothies. “Avocados are okay?”

  “The smoothie is for me. So, yes.”

  He laughed. “Sounds good. I’ll call if I have any questions or feel like geeking out, okay?”

  “Okay. Hey, Jes?”

  He stepped out of the closet and walked to the bed with the bundle of clothes under his arm. “Yeah?”

  “Thank you for coming home.”

  A long moment passed before he trusted his voice enough to speak, but Sara didn’t press. “Tell Eric I’ll see you both soon, okay?” he managed before he and Sara said their goodbyes.

  The moment he ended the call, another jolt of relief hit Jesse, and the tears he’d fought off welled in his eyes again. In an effort to regain control, he flipped through the apps on his phone only to find over a dozen new messages checking on him and his family from Kyle, Carter and Riley, as well as Nicola Parkman at Clash Radio. A lump rose in Jesse’s throat, and the words on the phone screen blurred. Carefully, he set his clothes down on the bed and took a seat. He propped his elbows on his knees so he could drop his head forward and concentrate on not falling to pieces.

  Jesse didn’t know how long he sat there, his body and mind buzzing with a weird mix of near hysteria and fatigue while the occasional stray tear slid down his cheeks. He knew he must have made quite a picture when Cam found him, but Cam didn’t comment. He took a seat beside Jesse instead and brought a hand to rest on the back of his neck. Jesse hummed in appreciation of the broad palm that warmed his skin. He finally straightened up and shared a watery grin with Cam.

  “That sounded like a good conversation with Sara from where I stood. You okay?” Cam asked.

  Jesse dashed at the moisture in his eyes with his fingers. “Yeah, for the most part. Eric’s up and around, and Sara sounds about one thousand times better than she has since she asked me to come back to New York. On the other hand, I’m kind of a mess.”

  “Well, you’re a hot mess at least.” Cam knocked shoulders with Jesse and made him laugh.

  “Duh. It’s like my brain and body have never met, and neither one knows if they’re coming or going.”

  Cam nodded. “Your body clock is still jacked from all the stress and travel and time zones. I’m tired, and I never left New York.” He looked Jesse over carefully, his gaze sharp. “Are you really okay?”

  “I’m getting there. Seeing Eric like that scared me.” Jesse licked his lips. “From what the doctors can tell, he’s going to be fine, but I’m still waiting for my head to catch up and realize I don’t need to freak out anymore.”

  “Why don’t you get some more sleep?”

  “Mmm, I can’t. I need to head over there again. I told Sara I’d pick up food for everybody, and I can tell she and Eric need someone who is not a parent around.”

  Jesse pressed a quick kiss against Cam’s lips. “I apologize, but I have to take off on you again. It sounds like Eric will be released tomorrow, and things can start getting back to normal-ish.”

  That includes things between us, Jesse thought with determination. He gathered his clothes, then glanced at Cam, who stood.

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Cam held out his hand and hauled Jesse to his feet. “Absolutely. But I’m working midnight to three a.m., so I’ll need to head to Ember from the hospital.” He laughed at Jesse’s groan. “I can come back here afterward, if you like?”

  “You’d better.” Jesse planted another kiss on Cam’s mouth. “Leave your stuff here. I’ll do laundry, and you can borrow some of my clothes if you need to. Now get the fuck in the shower so I can find a place to order food, and we can get out of here.”

  “You could shower with me and save water,” Cam suggested, his expression sly. He pushed his lips into a pout when Jesse pointed to the bathroom door instead.

  “Uh-uh. We will never get out of here if you get wet and naked around me, and the last thing I want to do is piss off the pregnant lady.”

  Jesse smacked Cam’s ass lightly, but even that fleeting touch was enough to interest his cock. He shivered as Cam headed for the bathroom. It had been far too long since he’d enjoyed that toned body, and he looked forward to some quality, uninterrupted time with his man.

  Your man, huh?

  Jesse grinned. His man, yeah.

  * * * *

  With the food pickup included, it took almost two hours for Jesse and Cam to make their way uptown to the hospital. Eric was asleep when they stepped into his suite, his skin still somewhat pale but his face relaxed in slumber, and the elder Murtaghs were home resting before dinner. While Jesse tried to project outward calm, he felt frazzled. He’d hardly set down the bags of takeout before Cam pushed him toward the couch by Eric’s bed. The next thing Jesse knew, he was seated next to Sara with a bottle of water in one hand and an apple in the other while Cam unpacked the food with Sara’s mom and dad.

  “Who knew your boyfriend could be so charmingly bossy?” Sara asked. She took a quiet slurp of the avocado smoothie.

  “Not me,” Jesse muttered around a mouthful of fruit. “I kind of dig it.” He sat back, his eyes trained on Cam until Sara’s laugh caught his attention. When Jesse turned back to her, she grinned. “What?”

  “I called Cam your boyfriend, and you didn’t correct me. What’s up, Buttercup?”

  “I’m feeling chill, Daffodil,” Jesse quipped back with a wink.

  “Uh-huh. Clearly, you and Cam worked out a bunch of stuff?”

  “We’re in a better place than we were a week ago.” He took another bite of his apple, then gave it to Sara when she held out her hand. “But don’t get carried away with the ‘boyfriend’ thing. We’re still working through stuff, including mundane details like titles.”

  “You guys will
be fine. Trust me on this, Jes. I could tell things were different for you from the beginning.” Sara bit into the fruit with a loud crunching noise.

  “Yeah?” Jesse cocked his head at Sara, and she handed back the apple. “How?”

  “The first time Eric mentioned Ember, you got quiet. You quit moving, quit talking, almost like you didn’t want us to notice you thinking about it. But then you mentioned meeting Cam, and you were super casual about it, so I knew things didn’t add up. You’ve never hidden stuff from us before, and I figured that whatever you and Cam had going fell outside the norm.”

  Jesse tried to protest he hadn’t been hiding but closed his mouth when Sara also handed him the smoothie cup and got to her feet. She flashed him a sheepish smile and excused herself with a muttered, “Gotta pee.” She high-fived Cam as they crossed paths.

  Cam dropped into Sara’s vacated seat. “This suite is bigger than Kyle’s entire apartment,” he said. The awe in his expression made Jesse chuckle.

  “Sara says the maternity suites are even bigger. But, c’mon, let’s be real—Kyle’s apartment is a tiny, crappy hole.”

  “It’s not that bad.”

  “I suppose. It suits him, at any rate.” Jesse remembered the messages from his friends on his phone then and groaned. “Damn. I forgot to text him and the others on our way over here.”

  Cam nudged him with his shoulder. “Do it now. They won’t hold it against you. Besides, I’m sure they think you’re still sleeping.”

  “I wish I was.” Jesse smothered a yawn behind one hand. He moved to rub his eyes under his glasses and frowned at his full hands. Cam’s amused expression caught his attention. “What?”

  “I’m still getting used to you without the beard. What made you shave it off?”

  “I needed a change. And maybe to let go of some old baggage I didn’t even know I’d been carrying around.” Jesse set the cup and apple on Eric’s bedside table. He rubbed his fingers over his chin. “I like it, but I still find it strange, too. It’s been a long time since I had a naked face.”

  “The beard was hot, but I like this, too.” Cam ran the backs of his fingers along Jesse’s cheek. “You look—”

  “If you say younger, I am going to thump you so hard.”

  Cam grinned wickedly. “I meant to say less impish and more sweet. Almost like a little boy. Combined with the glasses, it’s like I’m talking to a whole different person.”

  Jesse snorted. “Don’t worry. I’m still the same pain in the ass who drives you crazy.”

  Cam’s expression gentled. “Good. I kind of like your brand of pain in the ass.”

  * * * *

  After Eric woke from his nap and the Murtaghs returned, the collective family ate a light dinner. Jesse and Cam then accompanied Eric while he took a couple of laps around the hospital floor, and the last of Jesse’s most intense anxiety over his brother eased. Nearly all Eric’s symptoms had resolved and, with the exception of being slightly off balance and fatigued, he felt like himself again. There were lifestyle changes in his future, including medications and altering his diet and work hours. Jesse and his father were ready to do whatever Eric needed to help him get there. In their minds, Eric’s continued health easily outweighed any temporary wrinkles those changes might cause in their lives or business.

  The remains of Jesse’s jet lag left him both tired and keyed up when he let himself into his loft after eleven p.m. that evening. Despite his body’s impression it was still five hours ahead, he unpacked his suitcase and carried a load of his and Cam’s dirty clothes to the laundry room off the kitchen.

  With the low hum of the washing machine providing background noise, he started to relax. He sat at the island in his kitchen with his tablet, reading through the new migraine treatment regimens Eric and Sara had shared with him earlier in the evening.

  Jesse slipped into a lazy autopilot mode after the wash cycle finished. He loaded the wet clothes into the dryer, then moved around his home and simply enjoyed being there again. The work on the floors had been done in his absence, and he smiled at the idea of the Hamilton kids sliding over the softly gleaming redwood planks in their socks. He paused in the act of arranging throw pillows on the couch when his phone buzzed in his pocket and wasn’t surprised to see a message from Cam.

  Something tells me you’re puttering around your place right now like an old man.

  Jesse bit back a laugh. Wrong, he replied and took a seat. I hired a troupe of exotic dancers to entertain me. I’m setting out Gatorade so no one gets parched.

  LOL.

  You on a break? Jesse asked.

  Yep, back on in 5. Been talking to Ben, aka the angry bartender who hates you.

  “Oh, man.” It warmed Jesse immeasurably to see Cam back to his playful, teasing ways.

  I hear that guy is a jealous douche.

  He is, Cam replied, but he’s got a new guy and seems a lot less ragey.

  Good for hjim, Jes replied. He only noticed the typo after yawning so hard his jaw cracked.

  Go to bed, Jes. You know you’re tired.

  Yeah, okay. Jesse waited a moment before he tapped out another message. I put a key and the alarm code in your bag so you don’t have to bother the doorman.

  A long pause followed, and Jesse suspected Cam was actually searching for the key and code. The reply that eventually popped up made Jesse grin.

  You’re crazy if you think you’re getting these back, Big Money.

  After Cam’s break ended, Jesse folded the load of laundry and turned off most of the lights. Things were a bit hazy by the time he brushed his teeth, and he let out a satisfied groan once he stretched out in bed. His exhaustion claimed him so quickly he didn’t even manage to turn off the bedside lamp.

  He surfaced to find the light still burning when Cam slipped into bed beside him, and the clock read close to five a.m. Cam had stripped to his boxer briefs, and Jesse admired the play of shadows and light over his fair skin. He smiled when their eyes met, even as Cam raised his brows.

  “Damn, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “Glad you did,” Jesse rasped out. He put one hand over Cam’s to keep him from turning out the lamp.

  The apology in Cam’s expression faded. After a beat, he leaned over and covered Jesse’s lips with his own and slipped farther down into the bed. Jesse closed his eyes, luxuriating in the sensation of Cam’s tongue in his mouth and those long limbs against his.

  They peeled each other’s underwear off and spent a long time just touching and kissing. Jesse pulled Cam in as tight as he dared until their skin met from lips to toes. Cam shivered against him, and Jesse’s body was ablaze when they finally broke apart. Lust pulsed deep in his groin, but he found the mere sight of Cam enough in that moment. The realization made his heart hurt in the best possible way.

  “I love you, you know,” he murmured, and the roar of his heartbeat almost drowned out Cam’s sharp inhale. Jesse raised a hand and ran his fingers over Cam’s lips. Looking at him was almost too much to take. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. We’re making this up as we go along, right?”

  Cam nodded, stars in his eyes. “That’s right. I do feel the same, though,” he said, his voice steady. He pressed one hand over Jesse’s sternum. “I think I have for a while.”

  Jesse couldn’t stifle his moan. “Fuck, that’s unbelievably hot.”

  Cam skimmed his hand down Jesse’s torso, then lower to palm his cock. He smiled at Jesse’s shudder and kissed him. They were both panting when Cam pulled away. He shifted back and trailed kisses along Jesse’s body.

  Jesse grunted as Cam nosed along his pelvic bones. “Holy shit, you are going to kill me.”

  “Not intentionally.” Cam chuckled.

  Cam sat back again and reached toward the nightstand. He found the bottle of lube and some condoms from the drawer, Jesse’s hand on him the whole time. Jesse loved it when Cam put on a show, but right now, he needed to touch and be touched. He shuddered at the warm, wet han
d Cam wrapped around him.

  “Oh, God.”

  “I know,” Cam agreed.

  “Don’t…gah, don’t tease me,” Jesse gritted out. “It’s been a while since I did this, and I am about to blow just from you touching me.”

  Cam bit his lip. He worked a condom over Jesse with a light touch, but Jesse’s balls tightened anyway. He closed his eyes and fisted the sheets to keep hold of himself, then opened them again when Cam’s hand fell away. Goosebumps sprang out over his skin at the sight that met him.

  Cam had come up on to his knees. His cheeks were flushed red and his lips swollen, and he stared down at Jesse with heavy-lidded eyes. Sweat sheened Cam’s skin. His cock stood hard, bouncing lightly against his abdomen as he rocked his hips forward with gentle motions. Cam splayed one hand over Jesse’s belly and reached back behind himself with the other. He uttered a deep groan. Jesse eyed the way Cam’s muscles flexed as he moved and went still upon realizing Cam was working himself open with his own fingers.

  “Gorgeous,” Jesse whispered. The simple utterance made Cam gasp.

  “God, Jes.”

  The tension in Cam’s voice told Jesse he was close. He reached for him immediately, and Cam’s eyes filled with fire. He lifted a knee and straddled Jesse’s body, his stare unwavering, and Jesse guided him down.

  Jesse’s heart thundered as Cam rode him. He gripped Cam’s hips with bruising force, firm in his belief that Cam anchored him to earth. His breath got caught up in a growl when Cam closed his eyes, and his head fell back. A long moan rumbled through Cam, and that debauched noise sent lust jolting through Jesse’s body.

  “Shit.” A deep, sweet ache pooled in his groin. His hand trembled as he took Cam in hand. “I’m close, Cam.”