Extra Dirty Read online

  “Thank you. I’ll pass that on because he’ll be relieved to hear it. I’m glad he has someone in his life who’s protective of him.”

  Cam managed a faint smile. He wasn’t in Jesse’s life. But God, did he want to be. And he would do whatever it took to get him back.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jesse glanced up as the woman seated across from him at the conference table made a grumbling noise. He caught her eye, and she set down a sheaf of papers with a rueful smile.

  “This is the part of the job I’ve always hated,” she said. “It’s like death by a thousand paper cuts.”

  Nicola Parkman was CEO of Clash Radio, and she’d worked side by side with Jesse since the initial stages of Murtagh Media’s acquisition of the company. Currently, they were reviewing contract edits at Clash’s corporate headquarters, in the conference room where Jesse set up shop every time he came to town. They’d been at it for most of the day, and as the hour neared seven p.m., the words on the pages were beginning to swim before his eyes.

  “You do not have a paper cut,” he challenged, grateful for distraction. He went silent when Nicola held up a bandaged index finger.

  “I beg to differ.”

  Jesse reached out and grasped her wrist. “Holy shit.” He examined the bandage, which showed the word POW in bright blue letters against a fiery explosion. “Where did you get this fantastic Band-Aid?”

  Nicola sniffed at him. “I’m fine, by the way, thanks very much. My assistant keeps a fraudulent first aid box in her desk. It’s stocked with things like silly bandages, fake blood, a flask of whiskey and emergency chocolate. There are bacon strip bandages, but I am partial to these comic strips. There’s one that says AAARGH, and I laugh every time I look at it.”

  “I need these in my life.” Jesse leveled a stare at Nicola. “Will you be very angry if I take what’s left of them?” He grinned at her chuckling and let go of her hand.

  “No need to steal anything—I’ll ask Lucie to pick up a box for you next week, and you can have your own stash.”

  “Ask her to pick up two, if you wouldn’t mind? I’m putting stuff together for friends back in New York,” Jesse explained. “And now that I’m thinking about it, I have another friend who’d appreciate the comic strips, too. So, maybe three boxes.” He chuckled. “I’ll leave some money in Lucie’s desk before we leave tonight.”

  Nicola’s gray eyes twinkled. “Are these friends under the age of ten or overgrown children like yourself?”

  “Don’t be mean,” he chided. “Two of them are indeed children, but one is not. My friend David is more of a secret man-child. He’s incredibly responsible in his day-to-day life, but an undercover comic book nerd with an ever-expanding collection.”

  “That you’ve enjoyed, I take it?”

  “Every time I’m in his home. I’ll tell you about him some time,” Jesse offered, then glanced down at the piles of documents in front of them. “When we’re not swimming in stacks of dead trees, that is.”

  Nicola huffed out a groan. She sat up straight and combed her long blonde hair back over her shoulders with both hands. “I say we give it one more hour, then go eat steak and get blotto.”

  “I’m down with that, sister,” Jesse said and leaned forward to resume reading.

  The mind-numbing aspects of contracts review aside, he enjoyed working with Nicola. She was smart as hell and tenacious in the boardroom, but funny and engaging out of it, like her brothers, James and Philip, whom Jesse had met several times. The Parkman brothers sat on Clash Radio’s board but mostly focused on other branches of the family’s business dealings. They left Nicola alone to run the show at Clash, which she did with great enthusiasm alongside her partner, Ellen Kaes, Chief of Operations. Jesse and his brother and father planned to let Nicola and Ellen continue on with minimal intervention after the acquisition, too.

  When the hour ended, Jesse happily packed it in, and they walked through the deserted office to the exit.

  “Do you have plans for the weekend?” Nicola asked.

  “Nothing crazy,” he replied. “I’m having dinner with a friend tomorrow night, but otherwise, I’ll probably do a fair bit of work.”

  Nicola made a tsking kind of noise. “You should take time off to relax, you know. You’ve been like a machine since flying in this trip. All work and no play doesn’t make Jesse a dull boy, but it certainly makes him look like he’s not having very much fun.”

  Jesse shrugged. He didn’t mind having dinner or drinks with the Clash Radio personnel for business purposes, but he hadn’t been in any kind of mood to socialize on this trip. Outside of his morning runs, he stayed focused on his job and keeping up with Kyle and Under, which all equaled out to more than a full-time job with the time zones involved. However, if Jesse was being honest, his funk had started well before he left New York and immediately after Cam had kicked him to the curb.

  “Haven’t had much time for play,” he replied. “I need to keep up with the New York staff, which sometimes makes for late nights. Not to mention my business partner at the speakeasy keeps restaurant hours.”

  “Ah, right. He’s no doubt starting work while you should be sleeping.”

  “Basically. By the way, I’m talking with Eric tomorrow morning and we’ll go over the notes you forwarded.”

  Nicola snorted. “Your brother’s as big a workaholic as you, then?”

  “It’s a family occupation,” Jesse quipped. He and Nicola boarded the elevator. “Eric and his wife are having a baby in October, though, so we’ll be catching up on non-business things, too.”

  “Oh, that’s lovely. Do they know the baby’s gender?”

  “Not that they’re admitting, no. My sister-in-law says she can ‘feel’ that it’s a girl, but Eric’s convinced of the opposite.”

  “How fun!” Nicola smiled. “There are so few real surprises left to us in this world of instant gratification. I think it’s wonderful they’ve decided to wait to find out.”

  “Wonderful except for the part where not knowing is driving my mother crazy,” Jesse confided. They headed out into Leicester Square where the sky was still sunny and the summer air warm. “I get the feeling Mom thinks Eric and Sara do know the baby’s gender and are withholding it from us. She keeps trying to trick them into admitting it.”

  Nicola burst out laughing. “What a kerfuffle. At least you’ll be home in plenty of time to meet the baby.”

  We’ll see, Jesse mused. He immediately felt guilty. He would go back to New York to meet his new niece or nephew. He didn’t plan on leaving London anytime soon, however. He’d be free to go anywhere he liked after the acquisition completed, and he wasn’t keen to head home. Being back in New York meant dealing with people he didn’t want to focus on right now.

  * * * *

  The next morning, Eric got up early to web conference over breakfast while Jesse ate lunch in his room at the Connaught Hotel. Eric was still sporting major bedhead as they finished reviewing Nicola’s notes, and the dark smudges under his eyes spoke toward another recent headache. Eventually, their talk turned to Taryn Guillory, who topped the list of people Jesse wanted to avoid.

  “Have you heard anything from her?” Eric asked, his expression somber.

  A knot formed in Jesse’s stomach. He’d told Eric and Kyle what had transpired in Under’s office with Taryn, of course, and given each of them copies of the footage from the security camera showing his interactions with her.

  “No. Nothing even before Cam spoke with Kyle to clear things up.” Jesse set down the fork he’d been using to pick at a room service salad. Even thinking about the situation with Cam and Taryn made him queasy.

  Some of the tension in Eric’s posture fell away at the confirmation, but Jesse didn’t feel any less conflicted. Hearing Cam’s side of things through Kyle had eased some of his hurt. The Cameron Lewis he knew wasn’t a cruel person, and there had obviously been a tremendous amount of misunderstanding among all parties. Jesse didn’t know Tar
yn at all, however, and he wasn’t convinced he’d heard the last of her. Even now, he was braced for the other shoe to drop. Whether or not Cam had known Taryn’s intentions that night at Under, he’d put Jesse in her sights.

  Eric set down his coffee. “How are you feeling about the whole thing?”

  “Better than I did a couple of weeks ago. I think Cam told Kyle the truth—he didn’t know about the drugs. He never did anything stronger than booze around me. Or not that I saw, anyway.” Jesse grimaced. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he ever brought anything into the bar, either.”

  A line appeared between Eric’s eyebrows. “It wouldn’t be on you even if he had, Jes. You know that, right?”

  “Sure, I know.” Jesse licked his lips. Kyle had said almost the same thing, but he felt driven to reassure them he hadn’t knowingly put Under’s reputation at risk.

  Eric exhaled through his nose. “At this point, I’d say we don’t need to worry. Taryn would have talked to the gossip rags or a lawyer or even the fucking police by now if that’s the route she wanted to go. Besides, you told her about the security footage, and she knows it proves nothing happened.”

  “We’ll see.” Jesse ignored the heat splashing across his cheeks. He wasn’t that guy—he would never force himself on anyone, and the people he cared about knew it. He fucking hated feeling compelled to defend himself. He hated feeling so uncertain about everything just as much.

  His appetite faded completely and he pushed his plate away. “I’m done talking about that. How’s Sara feeling?”

  “Hungry.” Eric grinned. “Aside from the heartburn, she feels good. She muttered something on July Fourth about you not being around to make her Pregnant Lady Mocktails, by the way. I told her I’d get a recipe from you.”

  “I’ll send the ones I’ve got and get a couple more from Kyle today,” Jesse promised. “If his face isn’t attached to his gaming console, that is.”

  “I don’t know who the bigger kid is, you or Kyle. I’m surprised you don’t game, too.”

  “No way. The last thing I need is Kyle and his dweeb friends wiping the floor with my sorry carcass.”

  “I don’t understand,” Eric mused. “You have good hand–eye coordination—how can you suck so hard at every game?”

  “Honestly, it’s tough staying focused on virtual worlds around Kyle because I’d rather be sucking something else.”

  Eric tipped his head back and laughed, hard. His eyes were sparkling when he met Jesse’s gaze again. “There you are. It’s been way too long since I saw my devil-may-care brother. I miss you, y’know. We all do.”

  Jesse sighed. He spoke with Kyle and Carter often and messaged with the other guys from the speakeasy. He’d chosen not to break the silence between Cam and himself, however.

  At first, he’d been too angry and frustrated to reach out to Cam—any conversation between them in those first few days would have quickly devolved into arguing. Now, with time and distance between them, he just felt worn out and unsure about…everything. Jesse didn’t know what to say to Cam. While Cam now knew he’d turned Taryn down, that didn’t mean he’d changed his mind about Jesse being a good person and a decent friend. Cam’s first impulse had been to blame him for coming on to Taryn. He’d actually expected Jesse to fuck him over.

  Maybe that’s what hurts so much, Jesse thought. Cam and I got to know each other, and he still expected the worst from me.

  He cleared his throat. “I miss you, too.”

  “So, come home.”

  “I’m kind of digging the vibe here, Eric. I’d like to stay a while after the Clash deal is done, maybe do some traveling. I could use a break,” Jesse added. Eric’s eyes went wide. “Provided you and Dad agree, of course.”

  “Sure, if that’s what you need,” Eric said, his voice gentle. He worried his lips with his teeth. “Don’t stay away too long, all right? At the risk of sounding unbelievably selfish, I want you here when the baby is born. It wouldn’t be the same without you, Jes.”

  He frowned at his brother. “Hey. Of course I’ll be back. Don’t think for a second I’d miss it, okay?” He waited for Eric’s nod. “What do you and the little woman have going on tonight?”

  “Dinner and board games with friends. Sara’s out cold by ten p.m. these days, but she doesn’t mind if the rest of us hang out and make a bunch of noise. What about you?”

  “Dinner with Isaac.”

  Eric beamed. “Get out.”

  “Yup. We’ve been trying to get together since I got here, but he went out of town and I’m always buried under paper. We finally arranged to have dinner at Isaac’s and I get to meet the boyfriend.”

  “That’s great! What’s the boyfriend like?”

  Jesse smiled at his brother’s obvious enthusiasm. “English, attractive, a sommelier for a four-star restaurant. I googled him, and he’s beautiful—like Bollywood movie star beautiful, ugh. So, way to go, Isaac. He seems happy being out.”

  “Good for him. Are you up to that level of happy homemaking?”

  “Definitely. I’m looking forward to it. The wine’s bound to be good, and you know how Isaac is in the kitchen. This city has amazing food, but it’ll be nice to get a home-cooked meal.”

  “You could get those back here, you know.” Eric arched a brow at him.

  “Fair point.” Jesse ran his fingers over his lips. “I don’t care what we eat. It’ll just be nice to see him. I know he and I butted heads a lot, but Isaac’s a good man. I’m glad things worked out for him.”

  “Me too. I always liked that guy.”

  “He liked you, too.”

  Eric’s expression softened. “Isaac would say the same about you, by the way—that you’re a good man.”

  “Mmm. I don’t know if he would. At least, not yet.” Jesse studied his hands where they rested on the desk. “But that’s okay. He seems ready to be friends again and that works for me.”

  “Okay, kid,” Eric said, his tone gentle. “Give him my best, will you?”

  “I will.” Jesse managed a genuine smile for his brother.

  * * * *

  Prior to meeting Isaac, Jesse visited a spa near his hotel. He emerged massaged and groomed to within an inch of his life, his hair cut short and his face clean-shaven for the first time in over a year. He felt good and more refreshed than he had since leaving New York. However, the relaxed vibe fell away as he climbed the steps of the brick-terraced building in Clapton where Isaac lived. Jesse had enjoyed reconnecting with Isaac through speech bubbles on his phone and email messages, but seeing him in person was another thing altogether.

  He rang the bell and smiled when the gleaming black door swung open, and there was Isaac, tall and broad-shouldered, his big gray-green eyes bright and his grin wide. He looked amazing, exactly as Jesse remembered. Even better, he appeared happy to see Jesse.

  Isaac waved him inside. “Hoshit, you shaved off the beard!” he exclaimed.

  “Yeah, well, I needed a change,” Jesse replied a second before Isaac grabbed him in a bear hug that made his heart squeeze. Isaac’s hugs were a full-body experience. He stood an inch taller than Jesse and broader through the chest, and anyone he decided to hang on to had little hope of escaping. Not that Jesse tried to get away. Weeks had passed since anyone had really touched him, and the simple act of being held felt so good his eyes stung.

  Great.

  “It’s so good to see you, Jes,” Isaac said. The fondness in his voice showed in his gaze when he pulled back enough to get a look at Jesse. “You’re too skinny, though. Don’t they feed you at that hotel?”

  Jesse’s melancholy disappeared. He dug his fingers into Isaac’s shoulders with a laugh. “Eh, they do okay, I guess. But, whatever, I fucking missed you!”

  “Yeah, yeah, we missed each other enough to not talk for a dog’s age, like a couple of idiots.” Isaac rolled his eyes, but his tone held only warmth. “Come in, please. Darsh is in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine and no doubt messing with my cu
rry.”

  “Curry?” Jesse noticed a wonderful savory aroma then, and his mouth watered at the idea Isaac might have cooked Japanese curry rice, a dish he adored. “Did you make kare?”

  “Why, yes, I did!”

  Jesse went to rub his hands in anticipation and remembered the bag he’d been carrying. He held it up. “I almost forgot—booze and chocolates from the Big Apple.”

  Isaac’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, you didn’t.” Eagerly, he grabbed hold of the bag and peered in at the gift boxes of whiskey and chocolate. He beamed.

  “Man, you are my favorite New Yorker ever. I told Darsh all about this stuff, and I’m damned sorry he got called into work tonight. You know how it is with restaurants—no matter how carefully you plan, it can go to hell in a heartbeat.” Isaac shrugged. “Darsh has time for a drink before he leaves, though, and he’s looking forward to meeting you.”

  Isaac led Jesse through the chic flat decorated in warm tones and blonde wood. The open floorplan led to a kitchen set at the rear of the space, and Jesse glimpsed a small garden through a windowed door. Darshan, Isaac’s boyfriend, was carrying wineglasses to the counter, and he glanced up as Jesse and Isaac drew near.

  “Jesse, this is Darshan Raj.” Isaac looked at Darshan, and his smile lit him up like a Christmas tree. “Darsh, this is Jes.”

  Soft affection washed over Darshan’s face and warmed his deep brown eyes. He set the glasses down and turned to Jesse with an outstretched hand. “A pleasure. Isaac’s told me so much about you I feel as though I know you already.”

  Jesse grumbled playfully and shook Darshan’s hand. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or bad, but it’s great to meet you, Darshan.”

  Darshan smiled. He let go of Jesse and immediately gestured to the glasses and open bottle of white wine.