Extra Dirty Read online

  “Sara’s got a craving for the biscuits and gravy, so here we are.” Jesse pulled his phone from his pocket. “One sec while I tell Cam we’re up next for seats—that woman will kill me if we get called and have to wait because he’s stuck on a train somewhere.”

  “Cam as in Cam Lewis?” Riley asked.

  Jesse sent off the message and blinked at his friend. “Do you know many Cams, Riley?”

  “Several, actually, but only one of them teaches my, uh, Carter’s kids.” Riley’s cheeks turned pink in what Jesse recognized as a fit of adorable embarrassment.

  Ordinarily, he’d at least tease Riley for the “my kids” slip-up, but he thought it best to hold off, given his friend’s state of mind. “Right. For the record, yes, I’m talking about Cam Lewis.”

  Riley licked his lips. “I hate to ask this but could you two keep from doing anything super couple-y while we’re all in the same room together?”

  “Sure.” Jesse pursed his lips. “But, come on, man, we’re having brunch with my brother and his wife—what do you think is going to happen?”

  Riley gave him a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I’m on edge today.” He stole a glance over his shoulder at Carter, Kate and Eleanor, who were deep in conversation. “We were surprised when Kate and Eleanor called this morning, but neither of us expected they’d invite me along,” he said. “This is the first time in years I’ve spoken to Eleanor, and I’m not embarrassed to say I don’t want to give her anything to gossip about.”

  The strain in Riley’s expression sent a pulse of anger through Jesse. “You have every right to be here,” he said. “You do a lot to parent those kids, Ri, and everyone whose opinion counts knows it.”

  Riley nodded. “Carter said the same thing. I’d be tempted to call it flattery if he wasn’t always painfully honest about everything. The kids have started calling me ‘Ri-Dad’ on occasion, though, so I guess they feel the same way.”

  His smile, both shy and proud, leveled Jesse’s irritation. Times like these, he understood what so attracted Carter to Riley. Who knew a simple portmanteau of Riley’s name combined with ‘dad’ could reduce a man who ran a multimillion-dollar business to a blushing mess?

  “That’s cute,” Jesse said, his tone dry. “But I’m not so sure how cute you’ll find it the next time you’re in my bar and I have an audience.”

  The hostess called the Hamiltons to their seats then, and Carter caught Jesse’s eye.

  “Stay afterward for a drink?” he called back and smiled at Jesse’s eager nod.

  “Car’s pretty stressed,” Riley said. “And it doesn’t help that I need to go out of town again this week. Don’t be surprised later if one drink turns into three, even though he’s trying to limit his intake.”

  Riley looked past him and gestured to Dylan, who was seated beside Sara on the bench, his hand on her belly. “C’mon, kiddo, it’s time for waffles!”

  “Woohoo!” Dylan gently patted Sara’s bump, then leaned down and put his face inches away from the buttons on her tunic. “See you soon, baby!” he hollered and scampered inside with Ri following, a wake of laughing adults behind them.

  “Oh, shit, I wish I’d recorded that,” Eric gasped once he’d gotten himself under control. “That kid is a scream.”

  “He kept telling me I needed to try the waffles,” Sara said. “All he did was make me hungrier, so please tell me your DJ is on the next block, Jes.”

  “Well,” Jesse hedged. He glanced down the block and spied Cam’s tall frame moving toward them. “I can do better than that because here he comes now.”

  * * * *

  “Hey, Cam? You’re not shacked up with any of your roommates, right?”

  Jesse inhaled a mouthful of his Bloody Mary and groaned as the wasabi in the drink seared into his sinuses. Cam, who’d been poised to take a bite of French toast, lowered his fork and stared at Sara with wide eyes.

  “Um. Excuse me?”

  Eric covered his eyes with one hand. “Jesus, Sara,” he muttered, and a broad smile spread across his lips.

  Jesse exhaled noisily. They’d been having such a pleasant afternoon. Eric and Sara had liked Cam straight off the bat and he’d enjoyed meeting them, too. They’d eaten a delicious meal while the conversation flowed, and Cam had handled the unexpected presence of the Hamilton kids with aplomb. Initially, he’d seemed confused by Jesse’s suggestion they dial back on affectionate gestures, but he’d seen reason when Sadie and Dylan came over to say hello. Far easier to tell the kids they were friends and leave it at that, and Cam was clearly relieved not to have to lie about how they knew each other.

  Jess sniffed and wiped his eyes with his napkin. Leave it to Sara’s total lack of filter to spoil the easygoing vibe.

  “I’m just trying to get to know him, honey,” Sara told her husband, then turned back to Cam. “I asked Jes earlier about your roommates and he said he had no idea.”

  “No,” Jesse rasped out. “I said you’d probably have mentioned having a live-in boyfriend by now, but I acknowledge I could be wrong.” Of course, now that he’d considered Cam having someone back in Brooklyn to screw on the regular, he didn’t exactly love the idea of it having been kept secret.

  “I don’t have a boyfriend,” Cam replied, “and I’m not involved with any of my roommates, either. Don’t get me wrong—they’re all cool people, but none of them are my type.” He gave Sara a small smile, which she echoed.

  “Fair enough. That may be best, considering Jesse wouldn’t hesitate to poach your man, anyway.”

  Jesse pressed one hand to his chest with an aggrieved noise. “That is patently untrue,” he protested. “I would never poach anyone’s man unless they wanted me to.”

  Cam wrinkled his nose. “Does that happen a lot?”

  “Not often enough,” Jesse admitted. “But I can’t complain.” He winked and reached beneath the table to take hold of Cam’s hand. The way Cam stiffened in his chair made Jesse chuckle.

  “You’re going to get us busted,” Cam muttered.

  “Relax yourself, Red. I’ve got my eye on the Hamilton table.” Jesse wound their fingers together, and the apprehension on Cam’s face melted into amusement. “Besides, the kids have seen Kyle and me loving up on each other and never batted an eye.”

  “Neither of you sees those kids three times a week for music theory and practice,” Cam replied. “It’s going to be weird if either of them mentions having seen me over the weekend to anyone, so let’s not give them anything to talk about.”

  “Now you sound like Riley,” Jesse grumbled. His pout sparked regret in Cam’s expression, but before either of them could speak again, Sara abruptly sat up straight in her chair.

  “Ow,” she grunted and rubbed her sternum with one hand.

  Eric leaned forward to catch her eye. “Heartburn again?”

  “Uh-huh.” Sara grimaced. “Motherfucker.”

  “Are you okay?” Jesse asked. He frowned at the way Sara grabbed for her glass with a shaky hand.

  “I’ve had this killer heartburn,” she muttered, “and son of a bitch, does it hurt.”

  “I have gum.” Moving quickly, Cam pulled a package of chewing gum from his jacket pocket and handed it to Sara. “My mom always said chewing gum helped with her heartburn. She got pregnant when I was nineteen,” he added as the others stared at him.

  “Twenty years between children,” Sara marveled, her eyes wide. “I can’t imagine!”

  “There were a couple more in between,” Cam told her. “I’m the oldest of five.”

  “Well, thank you, oldest of five, and please thank your mother, too, because I appreciate any tips that’ll make this shit better.” Sara popped two pieces of gum into her mouth. “Mmm, grapefruit,” she muttered and chewed. “Much better than stomach acid.”

  Eric laughed. “C’mon, girl, let’s get you home.” He aimed a rueful glance at Jesse and Cam and reached into his pocket for his wallet. “I’m afraid we’ve got to cut this short. Sara’s got a date with a
bottle of apple cider vinegar.”

  “Sounds kinky,” Jessie joked.

  “She mixes it with water,” Eric explained. “Swears it works better than any antacid.”

  “She is right here,” Sara grumbled, then winked at Eric, who stood and tossed several bills onto the table.

  Jesse stood, too, as Eric held out a hand to Sara. “Do you want me to call the car service?”

  “No, thanks, babe.” Sara waved him off. “It’s not far and being on my feet is better than sitting, anyway. Besides, the gum is definitely taking the edge off.” She raised her eyebrows at Cam. “Who knew?”

  Cam looked pleased. “Happy to help. I hope you feel better.”

  He stood and smiled through handshakes and goodbyes with Eric and Sara, but Jesse detected an undercurrent of nerves in his demeanor. Cam’s gaze kept skittering away, like someone had caught him out. Which, Jesse supposed, was true. Clearly, Cam had kept things from him. Like a sibling being two decades younger than Cam himself. Jesse didn’t know why Cam would keep that—or anything—from him, but he saw only one way to find out.

  After Eric and Sara had gone, Jesse caught his eye. “You mind if we settle the bill and move over to the bar? Carter and Ri asked me to meet them for a drink after their family leaves.”

  Cam glanced to the wine bar at the far end of the room before he answered. “Oh, sure, that’s fine.”

  Jesse said nothing more until after they’d paid the check and moved across the room, and Jesse had ordered a bottle of Jolie Folle rosé. Cam sipped his wine, his expression tight, like he was braced for an argument, and Jesse wondered what the fuck was going through his lover’s head.

  “I didn’t know you had a five-year-old in your life.” Jesse kept his tone mild, but Cam still winced.

  “I have two five-year-olds in my life.” His brown eyes were somber. “George and Lily are twins.”

  Huh.

  Jesse sat back in his seat. “Okay. And the others?”

  “Daniel’s eighteen and Arthur will be sixteen this fall.”

  “Your parents must have energy by the fuckton.”

  Cam chuckled. “They truly do. They also joke that they’re abject failures at family planning, too. I’m sure every one of us came as a surprise, in one way or another.”

  “Eh. Surprises are underrated.” Jesse swirled the wine in his glass. “People should welcome more spontaneity in their lives.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Cam replied. “Being spontaneous in New York is easy for a single man without dependents.”

  Jesse nodded. “Good point. What about Jersey? Is it easier for a single man to be spontaneous in Hoboken or wherever it is your parents live?”

  Cam’s grin faded. “Jersey City,” he said, his voice solemn. “My parents live in Jersey City. I haven’t stayed there overnight for a couple of years now, so I can’t say what life is like for a single man.”

  “Fair enough.” Jesse furrowed his brow. “Cam, does it seem weird to you that I didn’t know where your parents live? Or know you have almost literal baby brothers and sisters? Because, I gotta say, it seems weird to me. Particularly since we just ate brunch with my brother and his wife, and I know I’ve been open with you about them and my parents.”

  “That’s my fault.” Cam blew out a breath, and his shoulders sagged. “I didn’t set out not to tell you about my family, but somehow, it worked out that way.”

  Jesse pressed his lips into a line. “It’s not only that, Cam. Most of what I know about you is in bits and pieces.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “I know you live in Brooklyn, but I have no idea where. You have a bunch of roommates, and I remember some of their names, yet how many roommates you have in total and how you know them is a mystery. I’m obviously aware of where you work, but aside from Ben, the bartender you used to screw, I don’t know anything beyond Midtown Academy and Ember.” Jesse waved a hand between them. “Do you see a pattern here?”

  Cam grimaced. “Okay, that sounds bad when you lay it all out.”

  “I don’t get it. You’ve been to my place and met my friends. And it’s pretty fucking weird when you consider you googled me before I even got to know your first name.” Jesse ran a hand over his hair while Cam looked embarrassed. “You have a private life, and that’s totally understandable. But it’s as if you materialize out of nowhere whenever I call and only when I call. Granted, I’m probably to blame anyway, seeing as I’ve been bulldozing you into going out with me from the start.”

  “No, that’s not true.” Cam paused, licked his lips. “Okay, it might have been true to a degree in the beginning, but it’s not now. I’m with you because I want to be. When’s the last time you had to persuade me to meet you to do anything?”

  Jesse couldn’t help smiling. He certainly hadn’t sweet-talked Cam into the torrid night they’d spent in the penthouse at the Greenwich Hotel.

  “So, what’s with the secret keeping?”

  “I didn’t keep secrets, Jes. I just didn’t give you a ton of details.”

  Jesse rolled his eyes. “Okay, that’s a technicality, but the point remains I don’t know why you’re keeping things from me at all.”

  Cam worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “I didn’t think any of it was important enough to share.”

  “Why not?”

  “Ugh, I don’t know.” Cam made a helpless motion with his hands. “All of that shit seems ridiculously mundane compared to your life. My parents and their blue-collar lives, my dumpy loft with the cheap furniture—even my piece-of-shit bike that I use to get to and from the ferry because I can’t afford a car.” Cam shook his head. “That stuff doesn’t have a place in your world, and I never once imagine you’d be interested in knowing about any of it.”

  Ouch.

  Jesse stared at Cam for a moment before he looked away. For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn’t know what to say. He also had no idea why Cam’s words stung so much or why they made him feel like a first-class asshole and a shitty friend.

  That was when it struck him—maybe Cam didn’t consider him a friend. A lover, yes, and someone fun to spend time with, but otherwise, what did they have between them? Jesse was a diversion, someone with whom to share laughs and good sex. Cam might miss him if he stopped calling, but he’d get over it, and things in his life would continue without pause.

  A weird ache worked its way through Jesse’s chest at the idea of not seeing Cam. Because he did consider Cam a friend. He’d miss seeing him, and not only because they had a lot of fun fucking each other silly. Jesse liked the rangy, ginger-haired smart-ass seated beside him, and he found the idea of Cam stepping out of his life unpleasant, to say the least. But where the hell did that leave him if Cam didn’t feel the same?

  Well, fuck. Sara had been right. He did like this guy.

  “Jes?”

  Jesse blinked when a warm hand covered his where it lay on the bar. He looked up and found Cam regarding him with obvious concern.

  “Hey. You okay? You don’t look so good.”

  “Liar.” Jesse cleared his throat and gave himself a mental shake. “I always look good.”

  “Okay, I’ll grant you that,” Cam said easily. He cocked his head. “You kind of zoned out there for a second.”

  “I’m good.” Jesse made himself smile. “You’re wrong, by the way—I’m interested in hearing about that mundane life of yours, if you want to tell me.”

  “Honestly?” Cam raised his brows.

  “We’ve been hanging out a lot, Cam. Call me old-fashioned, but I wouldn’t mind getting to know the guy I’m spending my time with.”

  A shy but pleased expression broke over Cam’s face and told Jesse he’d said something right. Fingers crossed he could keep it up. “I thought we could spend time out in your neck of the woods for a change, too.”

  “Say what now?” Cam’s expression went flat. “Jesse Murtagh in Brooklyn. Yeah, no. I can’t see it.”

  “Dude, what i
s wrong with you?” Jesse raised a brow. “I grew up in this city and I’ve been all over every borough. There’s a ton of good food and drink out in Brooklyn, not to mention the Widow Jane distillery where they make one of my favorite bourbons.”

  “I’ve never heard of that, but I’m down to check it out.”

  “Check what out?” Carter asked. He and Riley stepped up beside Jesse, and though they both looked tired and in need of a drink, their hands were wound together. Jesse smiled.

  “The Widow Jane distillery, a place you introduced me to, my good man,” he replied.

  “We’re talking about places to go in Brooklyn,” Cam added. He smiled broadly. “And I’m thinking it’s high time I drag Jesse off this godforsaken island he loves so much.”

  Jesse signaled the bartender for more glasses, and pleasure pulsed through him as Cam continued speaking.

  Chapter Twelve

  “So, how do you feel about thrift stores?” Cam asked. He’d been apprehensive about bringing Jesse to Brooklyn, but he’d taken it all in stride. From the ferry ride, to the walk through the neighborhood, to a late lunch at a hipster barbecue joint, he’d proved perfectly adaptable. He hadn’t even blinked when Cam paid for the ferry and lunch.

  “Thrift stores?” Jesse raised an eyebrow at him. “In theory or in practice?”

  “Is there a distinction?”

  “Well, in theory they scare me a little. In practice…” Jesse cleared his throat. “In practice, I have no idea.”

  Cam hazarded a guess about what he meant. “You’ve never been in one.”

  “I have not.”

  Cam looked skyward. “Oh, Jesse.”

  “What?” He sounded a touch defensive.

  “You have been missing out, Big Money.” Cam took hold of his hand. “Come on. Let me show you how the unwashed masses shop for home goods and clothing.”

  “Clothing?” Jesse’s lips curled up in disdain, but he followed Cam.

  “I know. It’s awful. Previously worn. Off-the-rack.”

  “The horrors of lack of tailoring aside, it’s the previously worn part that worries me. You joke about the unwashed masses but…bedbugs.” Jesse’s tone was pained.