Behind the Stick Read online

  The group had broken up not long after Ruby’s last set finished, Tomas and Lydia leaving first, followed shortly afterward by Regina and Wade. Marcus, Luka and Kyle had shared a final drink with Ruby, and there had been lots of talk of Thanksgiving plans at the house in Riverdale. Plans that didn’t include Kyle and, indeed, should not have. Thanksgiving was for families and Kyle wasn’t part of the Clarke-Padilla’s. It made his heart wobble a little acknowledging that though.

  Kyle ran a hand over Luka’s hair. “Thank you for taking me to meet them,” he whispered. “I had a good time.”

  He tried to mean those words. And he hated the part of him that wanted some of what Luka had. Luka deserved his big, joyful family and Kyle had enjoyed seeing them together. Watching love light Luka up from the inside out. As for Lydia and Regina…well. The least said the better.

  Luka was watching Kyle though, his gaze moving over Kyle’s face as if searching for something. He cupped Kyle’s jaw in one hand at last, his touch soothing, and when he kissed Kyle again, it was so sweet Kyle sank into it like a stone in water.

  They kissed and caressed one another in silence for a long time, connecting through touch. Kyle lost himself in Luka, reveling in his smooth skin and hard planes of muscle and the heat of his mouth. His breath caught as Luka skimmed a palm over Kyle’s belly, then dipped lower to circle the base of the erection that lay rigid against his abdomen.

  “Luka.”

  “I know,” Luka murmured.

  Luka wrapped his fingers around Kyle’s shaft. He kissed along Kyle’s jaw and pumped him, and he uttered a low rumble as he nuzzled Kyle’s Adam’s apple with his lips.

  Kyle reached toward the nightstand, and Luka rolled off enough to give him room to move. He also bared his teeth against the skin of Kyle’s shoulder and uttered a dark chuckle at his breathless curse. Kyle sighed when his fingers closed over the lube and condoms, and his hands shook as he passed them to Luka.

  Luka pushed himself up onto his knees, his mouth swollen from kissing. He wet his fingers and took himself in hand, a hiss leaving his lips. Kyle spread his knees wide. Luka covered Kyle’s body with his again and wrapped his free arm around Kyle’s shoulders. He lined Kyle’s cock up alongside his own.

  “Wanna come just like this,” Luka whispered.

  Kyle shivered. “Fuck.”

  Luka closed his eyes. He took Kyle’s mouth in a searing kiss, his touch on Kyle’s cock perfect. Kyle’s chest tightened so much he could barely breathe. He ran his hands over the muscles of Luka’s back and ass, driven by a need to touch every inch of Luka he could reach. Desire coiled inside him at Luka’s sharp inhale.

  They writhed together, twisting hard and slow to get the friction they craved. Kyle’s head spun, his senses filled with Luka’s scent and heat and sounds of pleasure. A sweet, familiar ache pooled in his groin.

  “Jesus,” Luka ground out. He pressed his forehead hard against Kyle’s temple. “Kyle, you… Fuck. Gonna come.”

  Kyle tightened his grip and thrust his tongue into Luka’s mouth, then held him as Luka came apart at the seams. Luka’s body went rigid and a hot slick of cum spread over Kyle’s cock. Kyle gasped.

  He peaked with a broken cry, the orgasm sweeping through him. It left him wrung out and dazed, unable to speak beyond a grunt when Luka let their spent cocks fall away.

  Luka wrapped Kyle up in his arms. They lay quiet but for their racing breaths, their legs entwined. Kyle tried to rouse himself when Luka stirred, but the most he could manage was to slit his eyes open and watch Luka roll up and sit on the edge of the bed.

  I want this every night.

  Kyle closed his eyes again. Could he have it, every night with Luka, here in Chelsea or uptown in the Sugar Hill apartment Kyle had never seen? Would Luka even want such a thing, knowing Kyle would never fit in with the family he loved so dearly?

  Kyle didn’t know. He didn’t want an answer either, at least not right now when he was warm and sated with Luka close by. So, he said nothing while Luka whispered to him about getting a cloth to clean them up and pressed a kiss to Kyle’s shoulder.

  * * * *

  Kyle set his gym bag and yoga mat down on the floor and sat beside Malcolm at the gym’s juice bar. Yoga had stretched his joints and muscles, but the relaxation he’d been searching for had eluded him, no matter how deeply he’d breathed or tried to center himself.

  “My turn to buy,” Malcolm said. He tipped his head toward the menu on the wall. “What are you drinking?”

  “Thanks. I’ll have the Pineapple Kiwi Kalm with protein,” Kyle replied. He chuckled at Malcolm’s grimace. “I’ve never met anyone who hates kiwi the way you do.”

  “All those seeds, ugh. There’re so many nicer things to eat. Mango, for instance.” Malcolm turned to the barista. “A Green Light with cayenne and a Pineapple Kiwi Kalm with the protein powder shot, please.” He cast an appraising eye over Kyle. “Are you working tonight?”

  “Yep. Masen’s on at eight, so I’ll be done around midnight. I don’t suppose you’d be up for some gaming?”

  Malcolm laughed and handed the barista some money. “Mmm, no. I’ve got at least three meetings tomorrow. I’ll never make it if I stay up and let you turn my brain into Fallout mush.” Earlier in the month, Malcolm had holed up with Kyle and Cam for an entire weekend and they’d played the game’s new release. By Monday, Malcolm had been so sleep deprived he’d called into work sick and passed out in Kyle’s bed for a solid eight hours.

  Kyle blew a raspberry at his friend. “Another time, then.”

  “What about Luka?” Malcolm asked. “He doesn’t play?”

  “Nope,” Kyle said. “He claims he’s willing to learn, but he’s working the next few nights anyway. I’ll just have to play alone until one of you has time.”

  “Poor guy.” Malcolm frowned. “You okay, babe? You look kind of stressed for someone who just spent ninety minutes breathing through his third eye.”

  “I’m okay. Can’t seem to get out of my own head the last few days, that’s all. I hoped class would help, but no luck.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Luka introduced me to his family,” Kyle said. “I went in knowing his mom and sister don’t approve of me—Luka and I have talked about it a bunch of times. I thought I had a handle on it. But sitting there with them…that was a lot fucking harder than I anticipated. Especially with Luka’s mom.”

  “You know it’s not about you, right?” Malcolm said. “They don’t even know you.”

  The barista set down their smoothies and Kyle took hold of the plastic cup. He pumped his straw into the bright yellow-green concoction a few times.

  “That’s what Luka’s been saying. That his mom and his sister don’t know me, and once they do, they’ll change their minds. But what if he’s wrong?” Kyle blew out a long breath. “It’s not as if they disapprove of my job or my politics or something I can change. I can’t change the things they don’t like about me. I’m…I’m always going to be white, just like I’m always going to be gay.”

  Malcolm reached over and laid a hand over his and Kyle’s throat ached. He’d never spoken about those parts of himself as negatives before and it fucking hurt doing so now. Coming face to face with his privilege sucked.

  “If Luka’s family never comes around to being okay with me, how will that make him feel in the long-term?” Kyle mused. “Because one night out with them made me feel like shit, and the idea of putting up with that into the future… I don’t know, Mal. It’s daunting as hell.”

  Malcolm scooted his stool closer and moved his hand to Kyle’s shoulder. He sat silent awhile, his grip strong while they sipped their smoothies. “Have you told Luka how you’re feeling about everything?” he finally asked.

  “No. He’s got enough on his plate.” Kyle shrugged at Malcolm’s quiet tsking noise. “He knows they don’t like his boyfriend—I’m not going to add to that by whining about my goddamned feelings.”

  “You’re doing a ban
g-up job whining to me,” Malcolm replied. His dry tone dragged a laugh out of Kyle, and that put a smile on Malcolm’s face. “That’s better. I think Luka would want to know it bothers you though. Seeing as you two are boyfriends now.”

  “Yeah, I suppose.” Kyle ignored the burn in his cheeks.

  “Well, good for you, man.” Malcolm squeezed Kyle’s shoulder again and dropped his hand, but he stayed close.

  “I don’t want to be that guy, harping on Luka to fix things with me and his family,” Kyle said. “He’s working on changing his mom’s and his sister’s opinions, and I can’t ask for more. I don’t want to, honestly.”

  “So, you pretend it doesn’t bother you at all?” Malcolm tsked again. “Denial is bad for you, dude.”

  “I’m not in denial,” Kyle insisted. “I’m just…holding my tongue. Luka and I have only been dating a couple of months, and we’re still figuring things out. Taking it day by day and focusing on stuff that feels good. Things we know we can control.”

  “Like what?”

  “Hooking up with Jesse and Cam, for one.”

  Malcolm slapped a hand over his eyes. “You guys are fucking bananas.”

  Kyle bit back a laugh. “Hey, I know you think open relationships are weird and mildly offensive, but—”

  “I never said that.” Malcolm dropped his hand. He looked Kyle in the eye, his expression earnest. “I don’t understand them, true, but I’m not offended. I promise, Kyle.”

  “Okay.” Kyle’d been mostly teasing, but he appreciated Malcolm caring enough to clarify his comment. “I believe you.”

  “I think you’re bananas to use the word ‘control’ with ‘Jesse’ though. Because that man is a whole big bag of unpredictable. Even with Cam around. Hell, maybe more so with Cam around.”

  “Nah. Jes has mellowed a lot this year. Emotionally, I mean. If you spent as much time around him as I do, you’d see it, too.”

  Malcolm nodded. “Fair enough. You really think hooking up all three of your boyfriends is a good idea?”

  “Well, Jes and Cam aren’t my boyfriends, so sure.” Kyle shrugged. “Luka and I talked about it and we both think it’d be hot. We’ll try it out and see how it goes. If it turns out we’re wrong, there’s no expectation for a repeat by anyone.”

  “Got it.” Malcolm paused and licked his lips. “It doesn’t get confusing mixing in sex with feelings and stuff?”

  Interesting. Kyle was always candid with Malcolm about the men he dated, but they rarely talked about actual sex. They didn’t discuss Malcolm’s romantic life at all either, never mind Malcolm having sex. Kyle didn’t know if Malcolm had or even wanted any of that in his life.

  “No,” Kyle replied. “For me, feelings and sex can be mutually exclusive. I’m close with Jes and Cam, but not in the same way as I am with Luka.”

  “You like him, huh?” Malcolm gave Kyle a small smile.

  It’s way more than like, Kyle thought. No way was he ready to talk about that though.

  “Yeah, I do,” he said instead. “I think getting him with Jes and Cam will be fun. I don’t need to feel emotionally close to people I sleep with to have a good time, but it makes things a lot more enjoyable. That’s why I like fooling around with Jesse and Cam. And why what I do with them is very different from what I do with Luka. That’s just how I’m wired, by the way—doesn’t mean other people would feel the same way if they were placed in the same situation.”

  Malcolm hummed. His eyes lost focus, as if he were looking inward, and Kyle thought maybe he’d say more on the topic of feelings and sex. But then Malcolm blinked, and the moment passed. He tilted his head at the door instead and pushed back his stool.

  “I’ve got time to game right now if you do,” he said.

  “Heck, yes.” Kyle leaned down to grab his stuff from the floor. “I don’t have to be uptown until four-thirty, so you’re all mine until then.”

  Malcolm chuckled. “Oh, hell. If I get nothing done today, it’ll be all your fault.”

  Kyle winked. “Things usually are, babe—you should know that by now.”

  Chapter Ten

  “I take it Matías had his way with you earlier?” Kyle asked as they stepped into a building on 29th Street that housed Jesse and Cam’s loft. He waved at the concierge at the desk and kept walking. “It’s subtle, but I can tell.”

  Luka chuckled. “He did. I couldn’t argue his point that there is no time more appropriate to wear makeup than for an orgy. Or is this a foursome? I’m not sure I have the terminology down.”

  Kyle appeared to consider the question while they waited for the elevator. “I’d go with foursome. More than that would be an orgy.”

  “Well, I hope the makeup isn’t over the top then. I wasn’t sure of the etiquette.”

  Kyle grinned. “Whatever it is, I think you look incredible.”

  Matías had applied concealer on Luka’s face, as well as mascara and lip gloss, and spritzed everything with setting spray. ‘You don’t want it all to rub off in the middle of things,’ he’d said, and Luka couldn’t argue with that logic either.

  “Thanks,” Luka replied. “Hopefully, Jesse and Cam like it too.”

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about there,” Kyle said as they stepped off the elevator. “They’re both very enthusiastic about this.”

  “It’s all I’ve been able to think about all day,” Luka admitted. That was both good and bad. He’d looked forward to it but having time to think had also made him anxious. Luka’d never made plans to have group sex. Any threesomes he’d had with women in the past had been spur-of-the-moment endings to wild nights out, fueled by lust and booze. Tonight was different. Very different.

  They reached Jesse and Cam’s door. “Are you ready for this?” Kyle squeezed his shoulder.

  “I think so.”

  “If you change your mind, we can stop at any point.” Kyle’s voice and words were reassuring, and Luka didn’t have a single doubt he meant them.

  “I know.” Luka’s tone sounded calm and sure. He was sure, at least, about trusting Kyle. The rest remained to be seen. But how would he know unless he tried?

  “Whatever happens tonight, you’re my priority, Luka.” Kyle rapped his knuckles on the door. “Remember that.”

  Those words made Luka turn and reach for Kyle. He pressed their lips together, needing Kyle to know how much he appreciated the way Kyle cared. How Kyle’s words lit him on fire from the inside out in the best of ways. Dimly, he heard the door open.

  “Well, I see you two are getting started already.” Jesse’s tone sounded light and teasing, and Luka smiled against Kyle’s lips. He pulled back to see both Jesse and Cam standing in the open doorway.

  Luka’s cheeks heated and he was grateful his darker skin would hide it, though the tips of his ears sometimes turned red enough for people to notice. But why should he feel embarrassed? Before the night was over, they were all going to see a hell of a lot more of each other.

  “Come in,” Jesse coaxed.

  Once everyone was inside the apartment, he closed the door and leaned in to Luka, grazing his lips across Luka’s cheek and greeting him with a hug. His beard was a soft, teasing prickle against Luka’s skin, so different from Kyle’s coarser stubble. Jesse drew back and gently pushed Luka toward Cam, who greeted him in a similar way, his lips lingering on Luka’s cheek.

  Luka glanced over at Jesse and Kyle. They were kissing. Not deeply, but far more than a peck on the cheek. A strange swooping filled Luka’s stomach. Was it jealousy? No. Not that. He didn’t feel threatened by seeing Jesse and Kyle together, but he was reminded of their history. A history Luka didn’t share.

  They drew back and Kyle immediately sought out Luka, as if checking in with him. You okay? his gaze seemed to say.

  Luka tried to convey a yes with his eyes, and Kyle nodded, seeming satisfied.

  “Let’s go into the living room,” Jesse said after he’d taken their coats. “I figured we’d have a bite to eat befor
e we get things rolling.”

  Luka licked dry lips. “Sounds good.”

  Jesse and Kyle fell into step. “Hey, I hate to talk shop tonight, but I have a quick question for you about an idea I had for Under,” Jesse murmured.

  “Sure, let’s get it out of the way,” Kyle said.

  Cam pressed a hand to Luka’s back, his palm warm and reassuring. “How are you feeling?” His open gaze prompted the honesty.

  “Nervous,” Luka said.

  “I’ve been there.” Cam nodded toward Jesse and Kyle, who had their heads tilted toward one another as they spoke. “Feeling intimidated by their relationship.”

  “It’s just…there’s so much history there.”

  “I know.” Cam gave him a smile. “But it’s nothing to worry about. I promise. Jesse and I are rock-solid, and I can see you and Kyle are good for each other.”

  Luka felt strangely flattered by the observation. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. We don’t play with couples who are using this to fix a shaky relationship. We made that mistake once. Never again.”

  That was reassuring.

  Jesse and Kyle disappeared to the left into the kitchen, still talking. Luka glanced around. It came as no surprise that the loft was sleek and stylish, with softly gleaming wood floors. Windows ran along two walls of the long and narrow layout, and minimalistic furniture in steely grays and warm wood tones was arranged throughout the rooms. Luka glanced out of one the windows at the bright skyline, which offered a great view of the top of the Flatiron building, an iconic triangular-shaped skyscraper at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Broadway.

  “Beautiful,” he murmured.

  “Mine was better.” Cam’s tone was dry. “Mind you, that’s the only thing I miss about living in Brooklyn.”

  “Much better commute now, I’m sure,” Luka said. He wandered back to where Cam stood.

  “God, yes.” Cam nodded. “I feel like I have more hours in my day.”

  “Between Kyle’s place, the firehouse and my apartment, I’m running all over the damn place these days.”