Behind the Stick Read online

  He laid a big hand over Kyle’s forearm where it rested on the bar. “To answer your original question, Ruby’s the sister I talk with the most. We’re closest in age, and we probably understand each other best among the siblings. She’s open-minded and doesn’t judge. I can’t always say the same about the rest of the family unfortunately.”

  Yeah, that’s not good.

  Kyle could guess what Luka would say next. He just hoped this wouldn’t be the end of things. He really liked this big, handsome firefighter. Far more than he should, given he already knew at least some of Luka’s family didn’t dig the fact Luka was into both men and women.

  Kyle moved his hand to cover Luka’s and kept his tone gentle. “Did your other sister give you shit again?”

  “Regina is the one who disapproves of my being bi. She won’t come out and say it, of course, so she talks around it but everything implies disapproval.” Luka sighed. “It’s tiring.”

  “I’m sure she just wants what’s best for you,” Kyle offered, but his words made Luka’s expression darken.

  “Yeah, that’s what she says, but she can’t truly mean it, Kyle. Not when she dismisses people from my life based on their gender. What if the best thing for me is a man and not some lady lawyer named Shawna?”

  “This is off topic, but if you dated the lawyer, you’d have one hell of a cutesy couple name,” Kyle said, his tone dry. “I mean, it’s hard to beat a portmanteau like ‘Shawka.’”

  Luka gaped for a silent second then burst out laughing. The sound warmed Kyle down to his toes.

  “You’re a weird dude, but I like it,” Luka said, the affection in his voice unmistakable.

  “I come from a long line of weirdos,” Kyle replied. “But I’ve got just the one brother, so at least it’s semi-contained.” A thought struck him, and he patted Luka’s hand. “C’mon. Keep me company on my break.”

  Kyle waved at Jeff, the second bartender, to signal he’d be stepping away, then walked around the bar. He led Luka to the office, and Luka’s eyes brightened as Kyle unlocked the door.

  “Damn, I get to see the inner sanctum? I thought you guys didn’t let people in here.” He laughed at Kyle’s snort.

  “Jes and I don’t let everyone in here, that’s true,” Kyle said. “But friends and family are welcome on occasion.”

  Inside the office, Kyle left Luka to look around and went to the mini-fridge for a mineral water. He settled himself on the big leather sofa and noted Luka’s unabashed admiration of the liquors on the bar cart.

  “You guys don’t fool around. I don’t even recognize half of these names, but I can tell it’s premium shit.”

  “Jesse’s the Scotch drinker,” Kyle said. “I’m more of a bourbon man, but I’m also a tequila lover. A really good, simple margarita is a thing of beauty. Rocks, salt, lime juice and booze—perfect. Please, help yourself if you’re not feeling that cocktail.”

  “No need. I’m enjoying this,” Luka replied. He raised his glass once more and sipped. “I meant it when I said Ruby would like it, too.”

  “She’s welcome anytime, with or without you.”

  Luka raised a brow. “You mean that, don’t you? You’re not just being polite?” he asked, his tone teasing. “Because she will show up, and she might drag one or more of my siblings with her.”

  “Of course, I mean it.” Kyle laughed. “The more the merrier.” He waited for Luka’s smile before he spoke again.

  “My brother’s coming in from Boston next week, and we’ll drive up to Vermont together on the weekend for a thing. What do you think about grabbing some dinner with Ollie before he and I head out? It’s cool if you can’t or don’t want to,” he added quickly as Luka’s expression sobered. “I know we haven’t been seeing each other very long, so I get it if you think—”

  “I think you wanting me to meet your brother is great,” Luka said, his voice soft.

  Despite his words, some of the light had drained out of Luka again, and Kyle’s stomach twisted.

  “Hey,” he said. “Luka, come here.” He waited until Luka sat beside him on the couch before he gripped Luka’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? I mean it—you don’t have to meet Oliver. You will get zero pressure from me to do things you don’t want.”

  Luka set his glass on the low table in front of them and laid a hand on Kyle’s thigh. “It’s not that. I’m happy to meet him. I’m…blown away that you’d ask. But at the same time, I’m not surprised at all because it fits with the guy I’ve been getting to know.” He leaned in and covered Kyle’s mouth with a kiss so tender Kyle’s throat ached.

  Kyle forced a smile after Luka leaned back again. “You’ve already met my closest friends,” he said and kept his voice light. “My dad’s gone, and my mother doesn’t give a shit—Ollie’s the most important person in my life. Why wouldn’t I introduce you?”

  “Not everyone’s like you, McKee. The more time I spend with you, the more I realize that.” Luka gave him a small smile. “I haven’t dated as many men as I have women and…well, I’ve only ever dated one other white person. And Matthew did a real number on my head.”

  Kyle hid his surprise and frowned. “What happened?”

  “It’s not so much what he did as what he didn’t do. Matthew was great. We had a lot of fun together, and I liked him a lot. I’d started to think we had something, you know? Something long term. He worked in tech at one of the big financial firms downtown and coming uptown drove him nuts because he was constantly on-call. We spent all our time together at his place in the West Village.” Luka rubbed his chin with his hand.

  “One Saturday, we were walking around the flea market in Chelsea, and I heard someone call his name. And Matthew just went pale. I didn’t even realize that could happen because his ass was at least as white as yours—I thought maybe he felt sick, for Christ’s sake.” Luka shot Kyle a smirk to soften his words. “Turned out his sister had spotted him in the crowd and wanted to say hi.”

  Kyle stayed silent. He knew from Luka’s grim expression he had more to say, and that it wouldn’t be pleasant. He gave Luka’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

  “I figured out from the get-go his sister had no idea Matthew and I were together. I mean, no wonder when Matthew introduced me as a friend, right? ‘Oh, hey, Claire, this is my friend, Luka. We play in the same softball league.’ I just stood there like a fool because I didn’t know what to say.” Luka blew a noisy breath out through his nose.

  “Matthew was out to his family, so I knew his sister wouldn’t be surprised to see him with a guy. She seemed tense while they talked though. She kept looking between Matthew and me like she could tell we were hiding something from her. I knew from her expression she wouldn’t like it.”

  “What happened?” Kyle asked again. He couldn’t bear the tight set of Luka’s jaw or the way his lips pursed, like he’d tasted something bitter.

  “Nothing. They said goodbye and promised to see each other for dinner at their parents’ house the following week. I waited until Matthew and I were away from the crowd before I confronted him about the ‘friends’ thing. He admitted he hadn’t told his family about us. He wouldn’t give me a real answer as to why, but I’m not stupid.” Luka picked up his drink. “I asked him straight out if it was because I’m black. Matthew didn’t have an answer for that either, but he sure as hell didn’t say ‘no.’”

  “Fuck.” Kyle swallowed against the outrage and hurt stirring inside him on Luka’s behalf. The idea anyone could be so cruel and petty over the shade of a person’s skin or who they loved, or which fucking sky spirit they worshiped… Goddamn, people were exhausting.

  “Anyway. We never made it back from that,” Luka said. “Matthew finally explained his parents wouldn’t have approved. He said he’d wanted to spare my feelings, but I didn’t know if I could believe him. I did know he’d decided it was better to hide me from his family than tell them the truth. And, really, where could we go from there?

  “As you can imagine, my mother
was pissed after she found out what happened. She never forgave Matthew for the way he acted. I found out yesterday that she hasn’t forgotten either.”

  Oh.

  A chill passed over Kyle. “She thinks I might do that to you?” he asked. He fixed his eyes on the drink in Luka’s hand but sensed Luka’s regret in his long pause.

  “She doesn’t know you, Kyle,” Luka said at last. “But she’s worried about me being hurt.”

  Kyle hauled in a deep breath. This…was not good. Two strikes against him, both with Luka’s family for fuck’s sake, and over things Kyle absolutely couldn’t control. A smart man would walk away now before he got in any deeper and save himself some pain. Kyle couldn’t do it though, not with Luka already hurting. He could ease some of that. And, frankly, he just liked Luka too fucking much.

  “I can’t fix what happened with Matthew,” he said. He wove his fingers with Luka’s. “Or make your sister or your mom trust that you know what’s best for you. But I can tell you that I’m excited for my brother to meet you, Luka, whenever you’re ready for that. I know Ollie’s going to like you because he’s one of the best people I know.”

  Luka’s raspy chuckle made it possible for Kyle to lift his gaze, and Luka kissed him, his hands warm and strong.

  Lust bolted straight through Kyle. Without a second thought, he climbed into Luka’s lap, sliding his knees over Luka’s powerful thighs to hug his hips. Kyle’s head spun as the kiss lengthened. His cock hardened at Luka’s low groan.

  Heat flooded Kyle’s veins. God, he wanted to crawl inside this man. He ground down slowly, making sure their bodies touched wherever possible. Luka ran his hands over Kyle’s back, his motions rough and hungry, and dropped one to squeeze Kyle’s ass. Kyle wrenched his lips free with a grunt.

  “Damn, you are killing me, Clarke.” He pressed his forehead against Luka’s, and they shared a breathless laugh.

  “No chance there’s another door out of here, huh?” Luka rubbed circles of warmth into Kyle’s lower back.

  “There’s the fire door,” Kyle muttered. “But I can’t leave Jeff alone. Ditching him would be a shitty thing to do.”

  “Such a good guy.” Luka grinned at Kyle’s raised eyebrow.

  “Says the man who runs into fires and not away from them.” He dropped a lingering kiss against Luka’s lips and sat back onto Luka’s knees. “I should get out there actually. Any chance you feel like hanging around tonight until I can leave?”

  “What time is last call?”

  “Two a.m. on Sundays, but I’ll leave around midnight. Jeff’s scheduled to close.” Kyle watched Luka’s smile broaden.

  “I can do that. You gonna comp me all night again?”

  “Duh, of course. In fact, you can help me taste test a couple more things I’ve been working on.”

  Kyle’d started clambering off Luka’s lap when the office door opened, flooding the room with noise and surprising them both.

  “Hey, babe—oh, fuck. Sorry, my bad.”

  The familiar voice that rung through the space almost knocked Kyle off balance.

  “Jes?” He shot a glance back over his shoulder, and sure enough, Jesse stood in the open doorway, his eyes big. “What are you doing here?” Kyle asked. “Just—well, come in and shut the door, for starters.”

  The door swung shut and muted the music and bar sounds again, and Luka held on to Kyle’s waist, steadying him as he got to his feet. Kyle gave Luka a hand up, then turned back to Jesse, who still stood by the door. Jesse was smiling now, but a tightness lingered around his eyes that Kyle didn’t like.

  “Jes, you remember Luka.”

  Kyle’s words got Jesse moving and he stepped forward with his hand outstretched.

  “Of course. It’s good to see you at Under again, Luka.”

  Jesse’s tone held a practiced smoothness Kyle had heard a multitude of times over the last two years. This was Jesse the businessman and charmer, the man who could sweet talk his way in and out of just about anything. For the first time ever, that tone struck the wrong note in Kyle’s head. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth as his friend chatted with Luka and waited for a pause in the conversation.

  “Do you need something, Jes?”

  Jesse put his hands on his hips. “Just a quick word. And I apologize for busting in on you like this. Jeff didn’t mention you had company when Cam and I got here.”

  Ah. With Cam in tow, Kyle knew what Jesse wanted from him. Kyle had other plans tonight however, and they did not involve Jesse, Cam or anyone other than the big man standing at his side.

  “No worries. Luka and I were just on our way back out to the bar anyway.” Kyle turned to Luka, whose blue eyes were practically dancing with amusement. He looked like a kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and didn’t give a damn what kind of trouble he might be in.

  Kyle smirked. This man was going to kill him.

  “I’ll meet you out there,” he said. “I’m sure you and Cam can find some kind of trouble to get up to while Jesse asks me his burning questions.”

  “Sure.” Luka gave Kyle’s waist a squeeze then headed for the door.

  Kyle turned and picked up the empty glass Luka had left behind. “What’s up, babe?” He moved past Jesse to the bar cart.

  “Cam’s got the day off from school tomorrow, and we came by to see if you’d like to come by after you’d finished.” Luka closed the door behind him, and Jesse cleared his throat. “I had no idea you’d be entertaining someone mid-shift though. Especially in here.”

  Kyle faced Jesse. “I took a break. Luka and I were talking.”

  “Talking to each other’s tonsils, you mean.” Jesse frowned. “We agreed we wouldn’t fuck around in here with anyone but each other.”

  Kyle frowned right back. “We weren’t fucking around. Yeah, I kissed Luka, but I’m sure you’ve done the same in here and more with Cam and God knows who else.”

  Jesse’s cheeks flushed pink. “Kissing yes, but no, nothing else. I’ve never brought any hook-up in here besides Cam.” His eyes snapped with fire. “I’m slutty, Kyle, but I can respect a rule that’s in place for good reason. You ought to know that, considering I’m the one who made the rule, in partnership with one of my best friends.”

  Kyle swallowed. Fuck. Too many conversations between Jesse and himself seemed to go wrong lately.

  “You’re not slutty,” he said, his voice low. He stepped forward and took hold of one of Jesse’s hands. “You’re…you. I know you respect the rule. I do, too. Luka and I were not fucking around in here. I wouldn’t do that to you or him.”

  Some of the tension in Jesse’s frame faded. He nodded, his mouth still pressed flat. “So, this thing you have with him is more than fucking around?”

  “Feels like it. We’ve been out a few times.” Kyle licked his lips. “Our schedules make connecting tricky, so we’re still figuring that part out. It’s been good though.”

  “That’s great.” Jesse gave him a crooked smile. “Good to hear the ban on men has been lifted. How long has this been going on?”

  “A few weeks. He asked me out after the fire at Burger Barn.”

  “The night the squad from the firehouse came in?” Jesse’s smile faded at Kyle’s nod. “How come I’m just hearing about this now? Do the rest of the guys know?”

  “Malcolm does. We go to yoga every Sunday and it came up. I told Carter, too, and Ri,” Kyle said. “I haven’t talked to David, but I messaged with Will last week and I mentioned it. You haven’t been around, Jes. You’ve been in London every other week the past month, and you’re busy when you’re back in New York with a brand-new niece to spoil. How is Caroline, by the way?” Jesse’s brother and sister-in-law had welcomed a baby girl at the beginning of the month, and one of Jesse’s favorite things was singing Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline to his niece.

  “She’s fucking adorable, of course, and Eric and Sara are sappier over each other than ever before. Don’t change the subject.” Jesse shook h
is head, his heavy eyebrows drawn. “You and I talk at least once a week whether I’m out of town or not.”

  “About business, yeah. Luka and me…that’s my life, not business. I don’t want to squeeze in talk about life between financial reports and hiring decisions.”

  Jesse sighed. “What do you want from me, Kyle? I know I’ve been a shitty friend, but I’m trying to be better. Fuck a duck.”

  “Hey, come on.” Jesse swearing about waterfowl was rarely a good thing. Kyle leaned against the desk and dragged Jesse with him. “I don’t want anything from you that you’re not willing to give. I get that you’re still figuring out how your schedule works now that things have picked up in London and with Cam in the picture. I’m happy you’re happy, babe, and that you’ve got so much good stuff going on. Just…keep in mind that the world doesn’t stand still because you’re busy, okay?”

  Jesse made a face. “Meaning what?”

  “That I’m dating someone new. That Malcolm’s been wrapped up with his mom’s house on Staten Island. Will and David are talking about adopting another dog. Carter’s doc tweaked his anxiety meds and he’s having trouble adjusting. He even said the other day he wasn’t sure you’d be able to run the marathon with him.” Kyle licked his lips as Jesse’s face fell. “Stuff happens, Jes, and not just to you. I know you’re trying to be more plugged in—”

  “But I need to try harder,” Jesse finished.

  “If that’s what you want, yeah. A couple of calls around to people that aren’t about work will do it.”

  “Of course, that’s what I want.” Hurt filtered across Jesse’s face. “I’ll do better with you and the other guys. In fact, Cam and I came here tonight to see you and spend time catching up. I figured you guys could game, too.”

  Kyle allowed himself a slow smile. “What would you be doing while this gaming occurred?”

  “Catching up on some work. It’s true I’m too busy to even breathe right now.” Jesse cut his eyes at Kyle. “But after I’d finished, I could distract you both.” His leer made Kyle laugh.